


Mister Tratz, Do NOT Read This

by Bubbly_Kandy



Series: Jake Dillinger Needs Love [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Animal Death, Child Neglect, HERE YOU GO JAKEY, I can't believe that I have to start the trans Jake ao3 tag, I'm writing more for this, Implied Child Abuse, Mention of Underage Sex, Multi, Trans Jake Dillinger, Trans Jeremy Heere, Trans Male Character, You're welcome bbs, diary format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-28 03:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubbly_Kandy/pseuds/Bubbly_Kandy
Summary: Jake starts to write.





	Mister Tratz, Do NOT Read This

_ Kayleigh E. Dillinger _

 

_ Mister Tratz, do NOT read this. _

 

_ Dear diary, _

 

_ I’m not good at keeping these things.  _

 

_ Ok, so I have to say who I am, and a short story about me. Sure, why not? _

 

_ My name is Kayleigh Dillinger. I’m in eighth grade, and Joe Tratz is my teacher. I like Tratz. He’s pretty cool. So is Iconis, the other teacher that teaches this class. They’re both named Joe, which is kinda funny. _

 

_ I use out-dated lingo a lot. It annoys my mom. _

 

_ … Wait. _

 

_ Before I say anything else, I need to run an experiment. Tratz, you say if we put ‘Mister Tratz, do not read this’ at the top of our page, you won’t read it. How do I know if you’re being truthful? _

 

_ Hm. _

 

_ Tomorrow, after you’ve read/didn’t read these, I’m gonna come up to you and say ‘pickle’ and if you read this, you say ‘morty.’ (don’t judge me.) And don’t act like you have no idea if this happens and you read this. I can tell. _

_ \--- _

  
  


 

  * __Kayleigh Dillinger, entry 2__



 

 

_ Mister Tratz, do NOT read this. _

 

_ Thanks for not reading.  _

 

_ The prompt I’m choosing is what pets i have.I have a cat named Mocha. He’s a cool cat. (Ahahahaha)  _

 

_ A lot of people say that I don’t write how I act. It’s funny. _

 

_ I dunno what to write. Ten minutes is waaaaaay too long for 13 year olds, just saying. _

 

 

  * __Kayleigh Dillinger, entry 3__



 

 

_ HALLOWEEN!  _

 

_ I’ve decided to let you read this Joe, because I’m really excited!  _

 

 _Me and my friends, Chloe and Dustin, are all going as Newsies characters!! Chlo is Katherine, I’m Jack, and Dusty is Crutchie! We all listened to the soundtrack, and even CHLOE liked it, which says_ _a_ _lot_ _._

 

_ It was kinda funny choosing the costumes, because Dustin is the only guy in our group, but I like Jack. We went to get costumes, and it was fun!  _

 

_ Peace out! Happy Halloween!! _

_ \---  _

 

_ DON’T READ THIS, THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY  _

 

_ FUCK _

 

_ Mom and dad left and thats normal but they didnt leave me any money and thats normal but they didnt say when theyre coming back and thats not normal _

 

_ Im scared im scared what if mocha starves i cant lose my cat i cant  _

 

_ Im gonna go look for money again but they didnt put it in the usual spot for it im shaking so much  _

 

_ Im gonna go  _

_ /// _

_ I found the money, thank GOD _

 

_ I need to go dress for trick-or-treating but im really drained and im feeling gross  _

 

_ Maybe ill cheap out _

_ /// _

_ I cheaped out.  _

 

_ Dusty’s gonna give me some candy. Good old Dusty. Gotta hand it to the guy.  _

 

_ I’m just sitting in my room with my pajamas because I’m so tired _

 

_ Im gonna sleep _

_ \--- _

 

 

  * __Kayleigh Dillinger, entry 4__



 

 

_ Mister Tratz, do NOT read this. _

 

_ There's a new kid. Richard Goranski. He’s really cute. He’s tiny though, and thats kinda scary. He’s 13 years old, but hes as tall as a ten year old or something. Thats not normal. _

 

_ He’s real skinny too. Thats not normal. Im kinda concerned, but Chloe says to not worry about it. Her cousin looks like that. _

 

_ Her cousin is eight.  _

 

_ Joanna Heere was also acting really creepy and quiet today. She kept poking Michael and asking what guy names fit her. It was weird. _

 

_ But I kinda like coming up with names.  _

 

**_Names that fit Joanna Heere_ **

**_William_ **

**_Matt_ **

**_Elliot_ **

**_Pete_ **

**_Jake_ **

**_Peter_ **

**_John_ **

**_Jeremiah_ **

**_Oliver_ **

**_Ryan_ **

**_Nikolas_ **

**_Nico_ **

 

_ Maybe I’ll show her the list. _

_ \--- _

 

 

  * __Kayleigh Dillinger, entry 5__



 

 

_ Mister Tratz, do NOT read this. _

 

_ I showed Joanna the list. She liked Oliver, Nikolas, and Jeremiah. I think Nikolas fits her the most.  _

 

_ What names would fit me?  _

 

**_Names that fit Kayleigh Dillinger_ **

**_Samuel_ **

**_Peter_ **

**_Arthur_ **

**_Jake_ **

**_William_ **

**_John_ **

**_Thomas_ **

**_Alexander_ **

 

_ DON’T READ THIS, THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY  _

 

_ I feel weird _

 

_ I like Dusty. A lot. But it feels like I shouldnt.  _

 

_ This is dumb.  _

 

_ Mom and dad are still gone, two days now. Not even close to a record. The cheese ran out, though. I’m gonna have to go shopping soon. _

_ \--- _

_ I don’t like my chest. _

 

_ Mrs. Davis, our health teacher, does, though. She says that im ‘very developed’ despite me being so young. _

 

_ I think Chloe’s jealous of my rack. I always see her looking at it weird, which only makes me not like them more.  _

 

_ I feel dumb.  _

_ \--- _

_ Michael told me that Joanna was depressed. I feel bad for her. _

 

_ I get it, I guess. Her mom and dad fight, and her mom doesn't like Michael. _

 

_ Maybe thats why he told me Joannas depressed. Because he thinks he caused it. _

 

_ I told my grandma that Joanna was depressed (she called me.)  _

 

_ She laughed and said Joanna was ‘too young to be depressed.’  _

 

_ It was really mean.  _

 

_ I’m not telling Michael that. _

_ \--- _

_ I  _ _ REALLY _ _ don’t like my chest.  _

 

_ Whenever I see it, i feel gross.  _

 

_ Oh yeah, I talked to Rich today! _

 

_ He’s really quiet, but hes nice. He has a cute lisp. He can’t say ‘sh’ so he says ‘th’ and he blushes whenever he does it its the cutest thing ever aaaaa _

 

_ And Christine is super cute too shes tiny and bouncy and she hugs me everyday despite us having, like, a two foot difference but she still does and shes so _

 

_ Why do I think they’re both cute? _

 

_ … _

 

_ Why do I think Christine is cute? _

_ \--- _

_ <3 Christine Canigula <3 _

_ \--- _

_ <3 Richard Goranski <3 _

_ \--- _

_ This is confusing. _

  
  


 

  * __Kayleigh Dillinger, entry 6__



 

 

_ Mister Tratz, do NOT read this. _

 

_ I walked in the bathroom, and Joanna was crying.  _

 

_ I started to ask her if she wanted me to get Michael, but when i said her name, she started crying more. She said something about her mom, and I think I saw a bruise on her arm. _

 

_ I tried to make her feel better by telling her that Joanna means ‘gift of God,’ and I think she liked that. _

 

_ Jeremiah, she told me, also meant that. She doesn’t know what Nikolas or Oliver mean.  _

 

_ When she stood up, I saw more bruises on her arms. _

 

_ Poor Joanna. _

 

_ Should I tell the office?  _

 

_ … _

 

  * __Kayleigh Dillinger, entry 7__



 

 

_ Mister Tratz, you CAN read this. _

 

_ Dear Mister Tratz, _

 

_ I think Joanna is getting hit at her house. Michael Mell thinks so too. _

 

_ I suspect so because she has bruises on her arms, and she flinches whenever someone raises a hand by her. _

 

_ Thank you, _

 

_ Kayleigh Dillinger. _

_ \--- _

_ Dear Kayleigh Dillinger, _

_ We launched an investigation when we got you and Michael Mell’s letters, and we have discovered that Joanna’s mother hits her. She is going to live with her dad. _

 

_ Thank you for bringing this to our attention, _

 

_ Joe Tratz + Joe Iconis _

 

 

  * __Kayleigh Dillinger, entry 8__



 

 

_ Mister Tratz, do NOT read this. _

 

_ Well. That worked out swell.  _

 

_ Mocha is sick. I’m scared.  _

 

_ My stomach hurts, too. Probably just cramps.  _

_ \--- _

 

_ DO NOT READ THIS, THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY  _

 

**_I HATE PERIODS_ **

 

_ I actually couldn’t go to school because my stomach hurt so bad. I couldn't even get up to get meds, thats how bad it was. I also puked. Ow. _

_ \--- _

_ I don’t feel like a girl. _

_ \--- _

_ Am i a boy? _

_ \--- _

_ Could I be a boy? _

_ \--- _

_ … I feel weird _

_ \--- _

_ FUCKIN CRAMPS _

_ \--- _

_ I somehow dragged my ass to my computer and looked this up. _

_ \--- _

_ I think I’m a boy. _

_ \--- _

_ I’m a boy.  _

_ \--- _

_!!!! I can date Christine without looking weird! _

_ \--- _

_ Wait.  _

_ \--- _

_ I’m confused. I’m going to bed. _

_ \--- _

_ Woke up. Still a boy. _

 

_ Does Rich likes boys? Does Christine like boys? _

 

_ I’m gonna ask Christine. _

_ \--- _

_ I texted Christine. She’s not sure. _

 

_ I didn’t ask Rich. I don’t know why. _

_ \--- _

_ Holy hell I can cut my hair  _

_ \--- _

_ Holy hell how do you cut hair _

_ \--- _

_ I looked it up, and I’m gonna cut it tomorrow. I’m really excited!! _

_ \--- _

_ Nevermind _

_ \--- _

_ Mom and dad are home  _

 

_ Its been a month, I almost ran out of money. _

 

_ No apologies.  _

 

_ … _

 

_ I forgot that they don’t know that I’m a boy _

 

_ This feels weird. _

_ \--- _

_ They gave me more money and left again. ‘important business.’  _

 

_ They took Mocha with them. I can’t fall asleep now.  _

_ \--- _

 

 

  * __Kayleigh Dillinger, entry 9__



 

 

**_Names that fit me_ **

**_Samuel_ **

**_Peter_ **

**_Arthur_ **

**_Jake_ **

**_William_ **

**_John_ **

**_Thomas_ **

**_Alexander_ **

_??? _

 

_ \--- _

_ Dear Kayleigh Dillinger, _

 

_ Jake fits you quite well. _

 

_ \- Mister Iconis _

_ \--- _

 

_ DON’T READ THIS, THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY  _

_ \--- _

_ F IS FOR  _ **_FUCK_ **

 

_ MISTER ICONIS READ MY LIST _

 

_ SO DID MISTER TRATZ IM WILLING TO BET  _

 

_ FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME  _

_ \--- _

_ … _

 

_ Jake _

_ Jake Dillinger _

_ Jakey _

_ Jakob? _

_ Jake _

_ Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake  _

_ Jakob Dillinger  _

_ Him _

_ He _

_ His _

_ Jakey-D _

_ \--- _

_ I’ve been going to the gym more often _

 

_ I’m getting more muscular _

 

_ I like it. _

_ \--- _

_ I got my hair cut _

 

_ Its short and nice _

 

_ My hair before was to the small of my back _

 

_ Now? _

 

_ Its short and my ears are showing _

 

_ I like it so much _

_ \--- _

_ Chloe screamed when she saw my hair  _

 

_ Dustin only looked surprised _

 

_ I wanna tell them _

_ \--- _

_ I wanna tell Rich  _

_ \--- _

_ Joanna cut her hair too. It looks good. _

 

 

  * __Kayleigh Dillinger, entry 10__



 

 

_ Mister Tratz, do NOT read this. _

 

_ Joanna whom? I only know Jeremy.  _

 

_ Jeremiah Heere.  _

 

_ Jake Dillinger. _

 

_ Huh. _

_ \--- _

 

_ DON’T READ THIS, THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY  _

 

_ I wanna tell Mister Tratz and Iconis. _

 

_ They can tell somethings different, I cut my hair and I’m not showing cleavage _

 

_ … _

 

 

  * __Kayleigh Dillinger, entry 11__



 

 

_ Mister Tratz and Iconis, please read this. _

 

_ I’m Jake _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Dear Jake Dillinger, _

 

_ Okay. _

 

_ Mister Tratz + Mister Iconis  _

_ \--- _

 

_ DON’T READ THIS, THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY  _

 

_ Wow. That worked out just swell. _

_ \--- _

_ Rich? _

_ \--- _

_ He says ok _

_ \--- _

_ He likes my hair _

_ \--- _

_ I think I like Rich _

_ \--- _

_ But I also like Christine? _

_ \--- _

_ Mocha died _

 

_ My baby kitty died _

 

_ He was old  _

 

_ But it wasn’t time yet _

 

_ Mocha… baby… _

 

_ I love you baby Mocha  _

 

_ … _

 

_ I’ll maybe see you soon _

_ \--- _

_ … _

 

_ Chloe asked me out. _

 

_ I’m scared. _

 

_ Chloe scares me now. _

 

_ I don’t know why, but she does. _

 

_ I said I’ll think about it. _

_ \--- _

_ Richard Dillinger _

 

_ Christine Dillinger  _

 

_ Jake Goranski _

_???????????????????? _

_ \--- _

_ Someone asked if I wanted to have sex with them. _

 

_ No. I don’t.  _

 

_ We’re in eighth grade. _

 

_ Stop. _

_ \--- _

_ End of the year soon. I’m gonna miss Rich.  _

_ \--- _

_ Rich kissed me? _

_ \--- _

_ He did it on my cheek. It felt nice. _

_ \--- _

_???????????????? _

_ \--- _

_ Mom and dad saw my hair _

 

_ They yelled _

 

_ My head hurts _

_ \--- _

_ Mom and dad left _

 

_ Theres more money than usual  _

 

_... _

_ \--- _

 

 

  * __Jake Dillinger, final entry__



 

 

_ Last day of eighth grade! _

 

_ Freshman year soon!! Whoo hoo! _

_ \--- _

 

_ DON’T READ THIS, THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY  _

\---

_ Christine hugged me extra tight today. She was crying when she let go. I just hugged her back. _

_ \--- _

_ Rich is such a cute nerd I love him _

 

_ He asked me today if i liked the kiss _

 

_ Yeah, Richie. I did.  _

 

_ Let’s hope we don’t change in Freshman year.  _

**Author's Note:**

> This was a trip
> 
> Tag yourself I'm 'F is for FUCK'


End file.
